Taking down the tree

Our favorite doc is always talking about "Theory of Mind". It refers to the fact that an individual is incapable of seeing a point of view other than his own.

To me that implies that my son does not, cannot care about other people's feelings. That's hard for a mom to accept. I want my son to grow into a loving, caring young man. His handicap may not allow that to happen.

I felt it so strongly this Christmas season. I got some nasty bug and was sick for the two weeks surrounding Christmas. The day after Thanksgiving, we went to our favorite tree lot and chose a fresh tree. As a family, we narrowed it down to a few, but allowed Kyle to make the final decision.Kyle was happy to drag the tree to the checkout then returned to his book in the car. Then I watched as my dear husband meticulously tied it to the roof of the car.

We rearranged the living room at least three times trying to place the tree this year. Since last year, we acquired a very large TV, so finding a pleasant arrangement presented quite a challenge. It was cozy to say the least!

We did not decorate it right away, but got busy in the holiday fuss at our respective jobs. Then I got sick. By the time we decorated, it was getting pretty dried out.

But decorate we finally did. I'm not proud of how that came about. I was feeling sorry for myself since I was sick. Neither of my guys stepped forward and took care of the things that I usually did. So, when the tree did not get decorated, I accused them both of not caring.

With this of course, they both sprang into action. My hubby helped to locate all the trimmings and light the tree and my son helped me place the ornaments. On our tree, each item has a story. Some are items each of my three children have made. Some were gifts from my students or other special people. Some are antique glass ornaments that belonged to my grandmother, others were found at a yard sale and matched my grandma's. A couple represent milestones, such as a brass cut-out of the church we were married in. Only a few are store bought, just because I thought they were pretty.

So now, on my last day of vacation, I am taking them all down. Hubby is at work and Kyle is still asleep, so I can take each item off the tree, reminisce and tuck it safely away until next year. Kyle has promise to help right away next year. Does he really care? or is the prospect of not putting up a tree just not acceptable to him? I may never know. But doc has said that aspies "can" learn to overcome other aspects of their condition. I pray my son will learn see life through other people's eyes.

He is up now. So, we will see if I can get him to help me carry the tree outside willingly :)

Christmas "Nom - Noms"

Silly name, I know. But that is what my son calls exceptionally good food. It can be anything from a new dinner dish to a decadent dessert. So, to share our holiday food adventures, it seems a fitting title.

For Christmas Eve, I wanted something simple but special. Nutritious finger food without a lot of clean up. So, I made my very first "Wood Fired Pizza". I watched Alton Brown make one so I had to give it a try.

Now we try to stay with organic foods as much as possible, but to make this easy, I purchased a ball of dough from the bakery department. Not organic, but it does not contain the worst of the additives that we try to avoid. I also used some of the sauce from a jar of organic spaghetti sauce. Fresh organic bell peppers and mushrooms and all natural shredded mozzarella for the top and I was ready to go to the grill.

Yes, I did say grill. I don't own a fancy wood fire oven in my back yard. I do have an old charcoal grill and an endless supply of oak from our trees. I rolled out the dough, oiled the grill and used a cookie sheet as a peel. I cooked the dough on one side then turned it and added my toppings.

I did end up finishing it under the broiler of my oven. When I cooked the first side, I left the lid up so I could watch it cook. I closed it for the second side, but my fire had burned way down. Next time, I will close the lid both times for more even cooking.

Simple ingredients, but SO tasty with the flavor of the oak. The only other suggestion my guys made for next time was to buy 2 balls of dough :)

Christmas morning I made my Hawaiian Banana Bread. In a blender, puree 2 ripe bananas, 1 stick of butter and 2 eggs. In a large bowl, sift together 1 1/2 cups of flour, 1 teaspoon of baking soda and 1/2 teaspoon of salt. Pour in the banana mixture from the blender and mix until just combined. You can bake these in muffins cups for about 12-15 minutes at 350 F, or grease and flour a bread pan and bake for about 25 minutes. Today's batch was plain, but it's also good with dark chocolate chips.

Since it was just the three of us, I kept dinner simple this year. I was disappointed at the selection of hams at the markets I shopped at. They were either glazed, spiral cut or both. I finally settled on a smoked, but uncured spiral cut ham. I followed the directions to heat it and made my own glaze from canned organic pineapple, cloves and local honey. I cooked it in a covered roasting pan, then uncovered it for the last 15 minutes. I made my own scalloped potatoes, steamed organic broccoli and reheated us each a roll we brought home from dinner out 2 nights back. Homemade chocolate cake and frosting brought our meal to a close.

Back to the kitchen for me. This is my bake day since we are having Christmas with more family this week. If you are reading my rants, allow me to close by wishing you and yours a

Very Merry Christmas and a Blessed New Year.

In His love,

Beth

August 31, 2011

For the love of Pets 

I’ve always had pets. I don’t think much time has ever gone by in my life that I didn’t have some kind of critter in my care. We had dogs, cats, fish and a sky blue parakeet  while I was growing up. When I got married, there were more dogs, cats, fish and an aviary of rescued and bought birds, and the usual assortment of pets for my children.

That last fifteen years have been filled with cats. My hubby had one when I met him, then I brought home a loaded stray. She was a sweet little bob tail that seemed to love us both. Then she had her kittens in the bedroom closet. For awhile we had 7 cats at once! Crazy, but they were soon part of the family.

My youngest was born when the kittens were 2 years old. We had sent the momma to the SPCA and managed to give away one kitten. So, we were a family of hubby and me and baby makes 3, plus 5 cats to entertain us. Every step of my young son’s day was punctuated by the love of a cat. One slept with him for naps, another chased balls he would kick from his walker, one tried to share my lap during feedings and story time and one would lay with him until he fell asleep each night. They were there when he cried and never hurt him, even when I would find his fist full of cat hair.

Today we are down to one cat and a gerbil. The cat seems to have adopted me. I am the only one who can pet her just right. She chases me down when I try to stay up too late. She checks on my son to make sure he is in bed, but no longer lays with him each night. The gerbil is very sweet, but has clearly lost its shine. My son usually checks on her each day and even holds her for a few minutes. But he forgets more often than not to secure her cage or check the level of her water. I guess that’s what moms are for, to remind or to fill in so the poor critter doesn’t die.

He wants a dog. Actually, we all do. But I have had a hard time justifying it since we are gone from the house 10-12 hours a day. Seems like it would be cruel for them to be alone all day. I already know that the cat is terrified of dogs. When we got her, she stayed in the spare bedroom, literally, until the last of the other cats died.

But, every boy needs a dog, right? I guess the silly cat can stay in my room during the day. I started reading about therapy dogs for Aspergers kids and how they help in social situations. But my boy has no trouble talking to people at all. Usually, he can’t tell when to stop talking J

Then there are the plans to get more chickens. My son fell in love with the black chicks at the barn. I don’t even know what they are, but the owner has told him he can have one. But the coop is still not built and I am not sure I am ready to bring them into the kitchen every night again. I hope to finish it soon, since I think I have everything I need.For now, the critters at the barn will have to do. It’s wonderful to be around the horses without incurring the expense. But I have a feeling that when we go to ride this Saturday, we will be coming home with a new feathered friend.

Life with Asperger’s

Hope in Horses and Gardens

This evening when we came home from work, my husband and I settled down in the living room to plan our evening. My son bustled around doing his chores and chattering each time he passed. Finally, his chores finished, he announced he was going out to climb a tree.

Tree climbing is somewhat new to him. About a year and a half ago, he used to climb the lower branches with one of his classmates, but was never more than six feet off the ground. But since she moved away, he stopped climbing altogether. He is so sensitive to, well, everything! Hot, cold, soft, scratchy, taste, sounds, so many things that just being outside seemed to irritate him. Then he started riding horses.

Therapeutic Horseback Riding. I can still remember our first day. He was bright and alert, taking things in. He followed instructions and chose a safety helmet to wear. Then he watched as another child climbed into the saddle from the ramp and he froze. He then drew close and stepped a bit behind me. “I don’t think I can do this!” he whispered. They called his name next, so I turned and said “It’s your turn.” I saw him take a deep breath and walk toward the ramp. He climbed in the saddle and the teacher stopped and looked at him. She started to speak to him, too soft for the rest of us to hear. I saw him nod, then relax a bit and they were off. He was never afraid again. That was almost a year ago.

Now, he asks to jump in the pool without others swimming with him. This summer he finally taught himself to ride a bike. Once this week I caught him shooting hoops with the kids at camp.  And now, he climbs our oak trees. Not the low branches, six feet from the ground, but straight up high fifteen feet in the air, I think a tree house is in order.

 He is so proud of the ribbons he won riding in last years’ Challenge Show. He also wears his boots and helmet whenever he can. He loves visiting the other animals at the stables too: chickens, rabbits, pigs, but his favorites are the goats! He visits with them and brings them treats after his ride.

It’s wonderful to see him in the great outdoors! Otherwise, he is tending to his passion, reading, or playing video games like other kids his age. He has grown in so many ways. He also started playing chess with anyone who will play with him.

Now if I can just control the food he eats a bit more. It’s so frustrating. Every time I think we are doing well, I find some new ingredient or something in food that I once trusted. That’s why I want to grow as much of our food as I can. Then I know where it came from and that no pesticides were sprayed on it. And I am enjoying it too. Seems I enjoy getting my hands dirty.

And caring for the earth. The soil in my yard is getting better all the time. Every load of compost I dump into my garden makes the soil darker and hold the moisture better. It’s taking a while, but I am growing things we enjoy the way God intended. I feel so blessed! Having my son has opened my eyes to a better life for all of us.

“As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter,
day and night will never cease.”

Genesis 8:22

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Stayed home sick today, but couldn’t stay down. Frequent trips to the throne room kept me agitated and unable to rest. So I walked outside to visit my garden.

I actually accomplished more, a few minutes at a time, than I do on a Saturday morning. Our swimming pool is completely out of balance with all the recent rainfall. So, I sprayed out the filters while my son picked up around the yard.

When I was able to sit down in the shade, I planted about 12 pumpkin seedlings into starter trays. After taking a break for rest and water, I sat near one of my planting beds and pulled weeds. While I was at it, I replanted some basil seedlings which had come up too close to the walkway. Later, I planted my Tarragon that had outgrown its pot. Now in the herb bed, I have basil, parsley, thyme, mint and tarragon.

Closer to the kitchen door, I have lavender, rosemary and a struggling sage plant. Seems I always have trouble with sage. Maybe I just need to find the right variety.

After lunch, I had a bit of energy, so my son and I loaded up the compost tumbler from the half full bin. Then we got the cart and transferred some leaves from the side yard to the back and divided them between the tumbler and the bin. We still had some left over so I used it as mulch here and there.

Well, all that activity was enough for me, so I came back inside and watched “Food inc.” If I wasn’t upset enough about our food before, I sure am now. But I know we are one the right track. We buy as much organic food as funds and availability will allow and I am starting to grow as much of our food as I can. Our chicken enclosure is built and my husband surprised me today with enough wood to finish the coop.

Along with the herbs, I have already planted blueberries, strawberries, lettuce, watermelon and cantaloupes. I also have avocado, loquat and banana trees and two different heirloom tomatoes in topsy-turvy planters.

Now I am getting ready to plant seeds for my fall garden.  With the seeds I saved from years past, the ones I have purchased plus the ones my friend shared with me, I could plant an acre! My garden tending time is limited to before and after work and weekends, but I love it! Walking along my plants keeps me grounded and gives me the quite time I need to spend with the Lord.

Be sure to stay busy and plant a variety of crops, for you never know which will grow-perhaps they all will.                                                                                    Ecclesiastes 11:6